We Bet On Ourselves, We Bet on Us
September Events Recap
At BGW events, some kind of reciprocal alchemy happens. We each bet on ourselves, enough to show up for our own wellbeing. This is its own quiet defiance. We’re taught not to put ourselves first, and we’re taught not to trust each other enough to move together. We do both anyway. And in doing that together, we put a value on our shared time. We breathe together, and we shift from our default ways of reacting to everything the world throws at us, to something more steady and intentional, our body’s remembering cutting through the amnesia of our busied routines. From this place, we can access more spaciousness and expansiveness.
In this process, we create enough safety to anchor each other in a different kind of presence: deep connection, deep listening. Here, each of us arrives at our own learning. But as women share their experiences in dialogue, one person’s share grows into another’s awakened knowing, creating a shared sense of being witnessed and cared for, each woman, co-teachers and co-learners. And often, we arrive at learnings bigger than any one of us: collective wisdom.
Two Women, Two Birthday Wisdoms
One woman shared something vulnerable: it was her child’s birthday, and she chose to celebrate herself first, in community. She was surprised by her own instinct to do that, and it also happened to be her one-year anniversary of showing up to BGW events. Yoga, the practice of connecting with her own breath, body, and spirit, was the gift she gave herself first.
So often, we prioritize, care for, and celebrate who and what we’ve birthed, or are birthing, over ourselves as the ones show up and birthing. We also deserve care and celebration. We deserve to be celebrated not only for what we create, but for who we are when we are creating nothing at all.
At yoga, we read a poem that says this better than we can: “We Are Worthy” by Elandria Williams, a local leader and ancestor.
We are worthy
Not because of what we produce
But because of who we are…
Carry It With You:
Read “We Are Worthy” once a day this week, out loud if you can. Let it be a reminder, from you to you, that you are whole just because.
Another woman shared about an upcoming milestone birthday, and what it’s taught her about knowing herself, solidified in her Black womanhood. There are times it’s scary, and you show up anyway, allowing yourself to be in your skin completely. This way of being was an unsettling concept before. But now we are all more sure than ever about who we are when we look in the mirror.
That kind of certainty doesn’t get built alone. It gets forged in the mirror of another Black woman’s gaze, and it gets steadier every time we see another woman practice and our spirit, without hesitation, shouts YASS! or ASHE! in support of her worthiness to show up solid and whole.
Practicing together leaves us more solid, more connected, more celebrated.
Carry It With You:
Recall a time you showed up as your full self. Pull it up with all your senses. Where were you? Who was there? What did your body feel like? What helped?
Now think of a moment that feels scary to show up that way. If it feels safe enough, ask what small piece of what helped might be worth trying there. If it doesn’t feel safe, let that be important information too. And most importantly, keep close the memory of showing up as your full self. It’s your true image and birthright, even when it isn’t safe enough to show in every space.
Our Own Space, Our Own Medicine
The group kept coming back to the preciousness of simply having a space for just US: a simple and profound gift, and a troubling question.
“Why is it that sometimes we can’t just have our own spaces? They get taken and reconfigured to fit the ‘everyone’ model.”
There wasn't a clean answer. But a question from our Tai Chi gathering felt related. Wasentha Young of Peaceful Dragon School opened with the word "asylum," a place of safety, refuge, and peace, and asked us: How are we protecting our asylum? She reminded us that we can create safety, not only within ourselves, but within community. [Keep an eye out for our next blog, where we'll go deeper into what we've been learning with Wasentha through Tai Chi and Qigong.]
Langston Hughes's poem "The Dream Keeper" points in the same direction. It isn't a complete solution either, but it speaks to an invitation to intentional refuge:
Bring me all of your dreams,
You dreamers.
Bring me all of your
Heart melodies
That I may wrap them
In a blue cloud-cloth
Away from the too rough fingers
Of the world.
That's what a space for just US can be. It's exactly why this matters so much. Village, our togetherness, is a deeply felt need and gift worth cultivating and protecting.
We thanked each other, and gave value to whatever each of us experienced on the mat. We moved our bodies. We fell asleep on the mat. We felt the breeze and quiet of the farm, and kept nourishing ourselves with wholesome food.
The secret ingredient, we think, was trusting that betting on our wholeness was never a threat to our togetherness, and that betting on each other was never a threat to our wholeness. Maybe that’s the alchemy: ancient African wisdom, made new again in a circle of women in Ypsilanti.
Carry It With You:
Choose one this season:
Option 1: Find someone to share with vulnerably. Tell her what you’re learning and what you’re still trying to figure out. Then ask what she’s learning.
Option 2: Tell someone one thing you’ve learned from watching her show up. Let her know she’s been a teacher to you. Most of us never find out what we’ve given.
We thank you for BEing here and creating community with us, sis!
Why a Day for Rest & Play?
Did you know that…
41% of Black adults weren't getting enough sleep, compared to 31% of white adults — and researchers found the gap was widest for Black women specifically.
Research on the “Superwoman Schema” shows that Black women's socialization toward relentless strength — suppressing emotions, resisting vulnerability, putting everyone else first — is linked to higher stress, depression, poor sleep, and inactivity.
We didn't need a study to tell us this. If we listen, our bodies and spirits tell us this. But sometimes our minds want receipts to validate that disparities we feel are real, documented, and not just in our heads.
“Naps provide a portal to imagine, invent and heal.”
— Tricia Hersey, founder of The Nap Ministry
“Feeling good is not frivolous. It is freedom.”
— adrienne maree brown, Pleasure Activism
This is why we host Rest & Play Date twice a year.With this day we affirm that we will rest enough to feel whole and we will play enough to feel free. The day moves in two parts — Rest and then Play — with dialogue and a shared meal woven through the middle.
Part One: Rest — Yoga & Sound Bath
Can we rest enough to feel whole?
For those of us who keep returning to the mat together, the practice keeps deepening in beautiful ways. Some days that looks like visible progress — a pose that finally clicks, a stretch that goes a little deeper. But the truest gift of the practice is something steadier: it always meets you exactly where you are, no matter what kind of day, week, or season you're walking in — and that is even more important.
This time, a simple repetition of movements reminded us that change is constant. We can't stop it from coming. But staying connected to our breath, even as things shift beneath us, helps us move through change with more ease, and less wear and tear, less risk of injury along the way. We closed it all out with a sound bath led by Alyssa, letting the vibration carry us even deeper into stillness.
And change is already knocking — the season is shifting, and back-to-school busyness is right around the corner.
Carry It With You:
- Try building a daily practice of moving with your breath, even just a few minutes a day.
- When change or challenge comes, take a few deep breaths and see if you can stay connected to your breath as you move through it. This keeps us connected to and caring for ourselves. It also keeps more of our internal resources, our magic, online. We can't stop the change. But we can change how we move through it.
Dialogue
No matter what's on the schedule for a gathering, dialogue is where we always land — it's the one constant. Dialogue helps us come home to ourselves and each other. It's where we really see each other, and figure out how we want to do life together, with care and intention.
Can we feel safe enough, together, to be a different kind of strong & brave?
It takes courage to sometimes to show up at an event, to show up for ourselves, to breathe, look inside, and be vulnerable in front of others. But when we are together, we provide the right support to practice more bravery. This isn't gritted-teeth, forced bravery. This is the kind that comes from checking in with yourself, looking around, and realizing: I have what I need, and it's worth it to try. We do brave better together! We hold space for each other. We lay down our burdens. We are mirrors for each other, and in that mirroring, we validate each other's worthiness and humanity.
And we are holding a lot. Empty-nesting. Losses and grief. Family health crises. The kind of weight that so often gets carried alone and in silence.
“The last month has been very tough for me. I'm completely overwhelmed. I did not want to come today because I knew I needed to let it out. It felt so nice to cry (safely) around Black women whom I know wouldn't judge me. I typically only cry in front of my mom and husband. This group is such a blessing and I'm grateful BGW can hold me.” — a Rest & Play Date participant
As Dr. Mishelle reflected, sharing lets someone else know they are not alone — and when you see a Black woman like you practice that vulnerability, you know that it can be beautiful and strong. Even if you didn't share that day, you felt that you weren’t alone and that we were holding our struggles together. And together, it’s a little lighter.
Together, we create sacred space for each other. We are actively interrupting Black Superwoman Syndrome — the pressure to suffer in silence — and replacing the myth of individual resilience with something sturdier: collective resilience. The strength we've often been taught — armor up, soldier through, don't let them see you’re hanging on by a thread — can leave us brittle, more likely to eventually break. We want something better for ourselves: strength that's flexible, and more fulfilling.
Carry It With You:
This week, notice one thing you're carrying alone, and consider letting just one person hold it with you. Vulnerability isn't weakness. It's increased capacity for strength, when it is shared and carried with a friend.
Intermission: Lunch
Lunch, care of new Ypsilanti restaurant–Galy's, gave us a nourishing pause to digest everything Rest had opened up in us before we moved into Play.
Part Two: Play — Dancing & Creativity
Can we play enough to feel free?
The room shifted from grounded and quiet to grounded and glowing. Sherry, of Dance with Elegance, taught us that line dancing is good for the brain — research has linked frequent dancing to a significantly lower risk of dementia later in life, more than almost any other leisure activity studied. In yoga, we connected our breath to movement. In hustle, we got our brains syncing with our feet.
Sherry noticed where we got stuck and in our own way as we learned. She said, “If you're going to make a mistake, let it be your own,” if we were watching our neighbor instead of trusting ourselves. She also encourage us to trust ourselves, and give time for muscle memory to build through practice instead of getting stuck in our heads. Check out Sherry’s weekly dance classes for every level.
Women, including Dr. Mishelle, who didn't think they could hustle, surprised themselves and completed multiple hustles. The lesson: you never know what you can do until you have a room full of Black women in your corner, hyping you up.
Play continued at the craft tables — printmaking, coloring, friendship-bracelet making. There's something about unrushed conversation, a good playlist in the background, and unhurried hands making something small and colorful next to new friends. It's its own form of connection. Its own kind of freedom.
Carry It With You:
Next time you catch yourself comparing your rhythm to someone else's, drop back into your own.
Find a friend you can call on to cheer each other on when it's needed.
Give yourself time to grow through practice. Try not to overthink, analyze or criticize your process.
Schedule your own play date — a walk, coffee and a treat, a card game, an easy craft — with a friend. Keep it simple. Put it on the calendar like anything else that matters. Your play deserves to be prioritized.
Before we left, we sent everyone went home with a journal — a small way to keep resting, playing, and reflecting until we gather again.
We're still deep in learning and practicing our theme of Being Village, and this gathering reminded us what that actually looks like in practice: slowing down to connect with breath as we encounter change, taking risks to build connection and create sacred space for each other, building a different and better kind of strength, and cheering each other on until it becomes second nature.
Don't miss the next one!
Follow us on Instagram/Facebook, and keep an eye on your inbox — you'll be the first to know when registration opens for our next events.
A quick note on our new location and a behind-the-scenes learning moment: with thunderstorms threatening, we had to ask for a big, last-minute favor — could we move indoors, last-minute, based on a new collaboration? It felt sudden, and honestly a little awkward to ask so late. But The Neighborhood Collective at the YMCA in Ypsilanti said yes without hesitation, opening their doors to us free of charge. They made us feel at home in a really great space.
The storms never came. But life threw us a curveball, and asked us to adapt: sometimes life pushes us to reach out for help even when the timing feels imperfect — and that vulnerability can lead to new possibility. Sometimes you don’t get to see community and collective care activated unless you take a risk and ask for it. We're so grateful this is now a space we get to for future gatherings.
Rooted in Nature, Rooted in Us
It All Begins Here
June Event Recap
Our June events nourished us through nature… the way it was intended. Whether we were adjusting to a sudden downpour or sitting still enough for a horse to trust us, two questions kept surfacing: Can we get grounded and present enough to adapt? Can we get grounded and present enough for authentic connection? Here's what we found — and how you can keep reflecting and growing between now and our next gathering.
Outdoor farm picnic area with blue skies, clouds, flowers, trees and women attendees
Yoga: Grounding Ourselves, Rain or Shine
Can we get grounded and present enough to ADAPT?
Our yoga gathering reminded us that wellness is not about perfect conditions. Although the event was originally planned outdoors, nature had its own plans, and rainy weather moved the session indoors. What could have been a disappointment quickly became an opportunity to practice one of yoga's greatest lessons: adapting to the moment. We practiced flexibility, curiosity, and a commitment to wellbeing despite shifting circumstances.
The indoor setting created an intimate and calming atmosphere, allowing us to step away from the demands of daily life and create space for reflection, relaxation, and renewal. Just as the rain nourishes growth, we were reminded that unexpected changes can often lead to surprisingly meaningful experiences.
Carry the WELLbeing with You:
Next time your plans shift without your permission, try naming it out loud — "this isn't what I expected, and I can still be here" — before deciding how you feel about it. Adaptability is a wellness practice we can build, not just a mood.
Four women interacting with two horses
Happy Hooves: Learning from Nature's Gentle Teachers
Can we get grounded and present enough for AUTHENTIC Connection?
We gathered for a guided animal learning experience centered on connection, awareness, and personal growth. When I tell you we were out here serving looks and soaking up sunshine! (The horses were also serving looks — multi-colored, braided-in hair extensions! 🤩) Surrounded by horses and the peaceful environment of the farm, we had the opportunity to slow down, observe, and engage with nature in a deeply meaningful way. The horses were loving on us. We were loving on them. Even the goats were getting in on it!
Our Time with the Animals
Crystal, our guide, told us how horses have a unique ability to mirror human emotions and energy, offering valuable insights into communication, boundaries, self-awareness, and trust. Through guided activities and interactions, we explored these themes.
“Horses meet you where you're at today and leave space for you to be different tomorrow.”
We can learn how to do that for each other too.
Crystal also told us the horses are easiest to work with when their needs are met. Isn’t that true for us too?
“What might it be like if, when we're having difficulty or someone else is being difficult, we considered the potential unmet needs underneath it?”
Carry the WELLbeing with You:
This week, try asking — of yourself or someone you love — "what do you actually need right now?" before responding to friction. Presence and mutual care aren't only for the farm.
Our Time with Each Other
In our garden lunch discussion after, we were breathing different and feeling different than when we arrived. We noticed what it felt like to loosen the grip that our roles, responsibilities and others’ expectations can have on us. We talked about how the safety we experienced in the environment and with each other allowed us to explore and move through some of our fears. That safety let us see the animals and ourselves differently, loosen some of our limiting assumptions, and try new things. We experienced what it's like to build a relationship by slowing down and being — and how that helps you understand yourself, your needs, and others better.
The experience offered more than time with horses. It offered a chance to be fully present. In a world filled with constant distractions, the farm environment invited us to listen, observe, and connect in ways that often get overlooked in everyday life.
Wrapping Up…
After our session, Crystal told Dr. Mishelle how remarkably well the horses responded to us. (Maybe it's the Black Girl Magic… maybe it's the shea butter, LOL). It's what presence and mutual care feels like, and we need more of it. We loved it. One person said “20 out of 10”. So we're definitely going back — and we even started to dream up a future Black Girl WELLbeing retreat! See what can happen when we slow down and re-connect.
P.S. — We had food from Grand Traverse Pie Company, and the peach crumble pie was Black Girl approved. 🥧
Want to keep exploring these ideas between events?
Download the Happy Hooves worksheet we created for this as a companion tool for the event. It has reflection questions and facts on how time in nature supports our wellbeing.
Don't miss the next event!
Join our email list or follow us on Instagram to be the first to know when registration opens for our next gathering.