Why a Day for Rest & Play?

Did you know that…

• 41% of Black adults weren't getting enough sleep, compared to 31% of white adults — and researchers found the gap was widest for Black women specifically. 

• Research on the “Superwoman Schema” shows that Black women's socialization toward relentless strength — suppressing emotions, resisting vulnerability, putting everyone else first — is linked to higher stress, depression, poor sleep, and inactivity.

We didn't need a study to tell us this. If we listen, our bodies and spirits tell us this. But sometimes our minds want receipts to validate that disparities we feel are real, documented, and not just in our heads.

“Naps provide a portal to imagine, invent and heal.” 

— Tricia Hersey, founder of The Nap Ministry

“Feeling good is not frivolous. It is freedom.” 

— adrienne maree brown, Pleasure Activism

This is why we host Rest & Play Date twice a year.With this day we affirm that we will rest enough to feel whole and we will play enough to feel free. The day moves in two parts — Rest and then Play — with dialogue and a shared meal woven through the middle.

Part One: Rest — Yoga & Sound Bath

Can we rest enough to feel whole?

For those of us who keep returning to the mat together, the practice keeps deepening in beautiful ways. Some days that looks like visible progress — a pose that finally clicks, a stretch that goes a little deeper. But the truest gift of the practice is something steadier: it always meets you exactly where you are, no matter what kind of day, week, or season you're walking in — and that is even more important. 

This time, a simple repetition of movements reminded us that change is constant. We can't stop it from coming. But staying connected to our breath, even as things shift beneath us, helps us move through change with more ease, and less wear and tear, less risk of injury along the way. We closed it all out with a sound bath led by Alyssa, letting the vibration carry us even deeper into stillness.

And change is already knocking — the season is shifting, and back-to-school busyness is right around the corner.

Carry It With You: 

- Try building a daily practice of moving with your breath, even just a few minutes a day. 

- When change or challenge comes, take a few deep breaths and see if you can stay connected to your breath as you move through it. This keeps us connected to and caring for ourselves. It also keeps more of our internal resources, our magic, online. We can't stop the change. But we can change how we move through it.

Dialogue

No matter what's on the schedule for a gathering, dialogue is where we always land — it's the one constant. Dialogue helps us come home to ourselves and each other. It's where we really see each other, and figure out how we want to do life together, with care and intention.

Can we feel safe enough, together, to be a different kind of strong & brave? 

It takes courage to sometimes to show up at an event, to show up for ourselves, to breathe, look inside, and be vulnerable in front of others. But when we are together, we provide the right support to practice more bravery. This isn't gritted-teeth, forced bravery. This is the kind that comes from checking in with yourself, looking around, and realizing: I have what I need, and it's worth it to try. We do brave better together! We hold space for each other. We lay down our burdens. We are mirrors for each other, and in that mirroring, we validate each other's worthiness and humanity.

And we are holding a lot. Empty-nesting. Losses and grief. Family health crises. The kind of weight that so often gets carried alone and in silence.

“The last month has been very tough for me. I'm completely overwhelmed. I did not want to come today because I knew I needed to let it out. It felt so nice to cry (safely) around Black women whom I know wouldn't judge me. I typically only cry in front of my mom and husband. This group is such a blessing and I'm grateful BGW can hold me.”  — a Rest & Play Date participant

As Dr. Mishelle reflected, sharing lets someone else know they are not alone — and when you see a Black woman like you practice that vulnerability, you know that it can be beautiful and strong. Even if you didn't share that day, you felt that you weren’t alone and that we were holding our struggles together. And together, it’s a little lighter.

Together, we create sacred space for each other. We are actively interrupting Black Superwoman Syndrome — the pressure to suffer in silence — and replacing the myth of individual resilience with something sturdier: collective resilience. The strength we've often been taught — armor up, soldier through, don't let them see you’re hanging on by a thread — can leave us brittle, more likely to eventually break. We want something better for ourselves: strength that's flexible, and more fulfilling.

Carry It With You:

This week, notice one thing you're carrying alone, and consider letting just one person hold it with you. Vulnerability isn't weakness. It's increased capacity for strength, when it is shared and carried with a friend. 

Intermission: Lunch

Lunch, care of new Ypsilanti restaurant–Galy's, gave us a nourishing pause to digest everything Rest had opened up in us before we moved into Play.

Part Two: Play — Dancing & Creativity

Can we play enough to feel free?

The room shifted from grounded and quiet to grounded and glowing. Sherry, of Dance with Elegance, taught us that line dancing is good for the brain — research has linked frequent dancing to a significantly lower risk of dementia later in life, more than almost any other leisure activity studied. In yoga, we connected our breath to movement. In hustle, we got our brains syncing with our feet.

Sherry noticed where we got stuck and in our own way as we learned. She said, “If you're going to make a mistake, let it be your own,” if we were watching our neighbor instead of trusting ourselves. She also encourage us to trust ourselves, and give time for muscle memory to build through practice instead of getting stuck in our heads. Check out Sherry’s weekly dance classes for every level.

Women, including Dr. Mishelle, who didn't think they could hustle, surprised themselves and completed multiple hustles. The lesson: you never know what you can do until you have a room full of Black women in your corner, hyping you up.

Play continued at the craft tables — printmaking, coloring, friendship-bracelet making. There's something about unrushed conversation, a good playlist in the background, and unhurried hands making something small and colorful next to new friends. It's its own form of connection. Its own kind of freedom.

Carry It With You: 

• Next time you catch yourself comparing your rhythm to someone else's, drop back into your own. 

• Find a friend you can call on to cheer each other on when it's needed. 

• Give yourself time to grow through practice. Try not to overthink, analyze or criticize your process.

• Schedule your own play date — a walk, coffee and a treat, a card game, an easy craft — with a friend. Keep it simple. Put it on the calendar like anything else that matters. Your play deserves to be prioritized.

Before we left, we sent everyone went home with a journal — a small way to keep resting, playing, and reflecting until we gather again.

We're still deep in learning and practicing our theme of Being Village, and this gathering reminded us what that actually looks like in practice: slowing down to connect with breath as we encounter change, taking risks to build connection and create sacred space for each other, building a different and better kind of strength,  and cheering each other on until it becomes second nature. 

Don't miss the next one!

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A quick note on our new location and a behind-the-scenes learning moment: with thunderstorms threatening, we had to ask for a big, last-minute favor — could we move indoors, last-minute, based on a new collaboration? It felt sudden, and honestly a little awkward to ask so late. But The Neighborhood Collective at the YMCA in Ypsilanti said yes without hesitation, opening their doors to us free of charge. They made us feel at home in a really great space.

The storms never came. But life threw us a curveball, and asked us to adapt: sometimes life pushes us to reach out for help even when the timing feels imperfect — and that vulnerability can lead to new possibility. Sometimes you don’t get to see community and collective care activated unless you take a risk and ask for it. We're so grateful this is now a space we get to for future gatherings.